It has been a while since I have updated with a foster care post.  This month has been a little rough.

Our first placement was a successful reunification on December 5th. As all things, this was bitter sweet. We were thrilled for Mom, she has worked so hard and was so happy to be picking up her little girl.  We were happy for S, she deserves to not be shuttled back and forth any more.  She was only with us 23 hours every week, so the transition has been easy on us. But little things still make me miss her, the spare paci I found in the car, the extra place at the table, the tree (oh how she would love to destroy the tree). But for the most part we are just happy that we could help her while we could.

Our other little lady has hit the two month screaming spells. Though I had read this could happen, again my naivety had me thinking we would miss this, especially when we were still dealing with the no sleep/hard time pooping/stiff muscles. For whatever reason, I thought we could keep our baby from crying. But its real people, so very real.

I am writing this from a hard spot.  This Christmas vacation has seemed like anything but a vacation, and I am not gonna lie, I a feeling a bit worn down. There have been moments when we look at each other and wonder if we can go one more day. A beautiful text from one who has traveled this journey before me came at just the right moment today "Hold on to the call you both heard. Sometimes that's all you have." It sent me back, back to Tim's office where we were discussing this challenge. I remember the prayer, the resolve, the "call". And I remember the knowledge that we couldn't do it alone.

I think that is the thing, too often I am trying to do it alone. Today a beautiful soul offered to bring us a meal- do you know what a life line that can be on a really tough day? And my answer, my first answer, was "nah, we are okay". I could almost feel God shaking His head at me as I pushed send on the text, and He gave me a second chance. This friend wouldn't give up, and brought us that meal, forgiving my crazy. Somedays it just feels like we are calling in all the favors and never passing them out. I hate being on this side of things.  I would much rather be the extra laundry folder, meal bringer, babysitter. But God isn't asking us for that right now.  He is asking us for vulnerability, and letting those friends bless us with their gifts.

So thank you once again friends. Thank you for walking with us. Folding our laundry, taking our kids for playdates, bringing the meals, and just telling us you are thinking of us and praying for us.  We couldn't do this without you all,