Two Families

Today was little puddin's first family visit, and while I feel like God started preparing my heart last week, I still wasn't ready.  Already her case is so different than our first, and yet so similar.  The first time around we were advised not to meet parents (we meet them both this week as well!). This time, I not only met the mom, but grandma, great grandma and grandpa, siblings, friends . . . All at the same time.  While I am a long way from the introverted shy girl I used to be, this was still a major stretch for me. Tim and I spent the day praying, asking for wisdom, and then feeling at peace with how things went.
For about 2 and a half weeks I had romanticized what we are doing.  I had imagined this wonderful scenerio where little puddin stayed forever, there were no visits, no case plans, no court dates, just cut and dried, black and white. About a week ago, God spoke to me, again in a dream.  I got a picture of Mom in my head (completely wrong but I knew who it was) and I realized, little puddin's story is anything but clear cut, black and white, already told. And I felt so sad for mom, but still had an idea in my head of the little one staying with us.
Wednesday of last week, my view had to change again. No only was there one person fighting to get little puddin' back, but a whole family. And Tim and I were faced with the harsh reality of what we had really and truly signed up for.  We had signed up to take the hard, so that someone else could have the easy. That is what we are doing this time around.  We help detox and get healthy and keep safe, until it all plays out and again, we say good bye. I know, if you are reading this, you might be saying, well that is foster care, and you would be right. But it is hard to tell that to my mama's heart, I have to lean in to Him and trust Him to carry us through when it gets hard.

"Care for the flock that God has entrusted to you. Watch over it willingly, not grudgingly- not for what you get out of it, but because you are eager to serve God." 1 Peter 5:2